The “Prosperity Gospel” Test

Jonathan Walton, a professor of Religion at UC-Riverside (where I had a campus visit earlier this summer as I explore potential Ph.D. programs), posted a blog a while back that I thought was hilarious and pointedly accurate (please go read it). It provides a brief explanation of the term “prosperity gospel” and then provides a test to see if your church fits the bill. Here it is:

The Prosperity Gospel Self-Examination Quiz

- Does the name of your congregation end not in “Church” but in “Center”? (i.e. Magnolia Christian Center as opposed to Magnolia Christian Church)

1 point

- Does your pastor use language such as “seedtime and harvest” to describe the act of tithing?

1 point

- Does your pastor teach “investing in the ministry” as a faster way to attain financial wealth than investing in stocks, bonds, 401K and/or your own savings account?

1 point

- Does your church teach that God wants you to be a millionaire yet your pastor is the only millionaire in the congregation?

1 point

- Does your congregation meet in a multimillion dollar state of the art facility, talk about changing the world, yet the only other productive businesses within a five mile radius are a Church’s Fried Chicken, an Autozone and a Check Cashing kiosk?

1 point

- Does your pastor own any of the following: Rolls Royce, Bentley, Leer Jet or Helicopter.

1 point

- If you checked “yes” to the previous question, was it presented to the pastor as a gift from the congregation?

3 points

- Has your pastor earned an honorary doctorate degree from Oral Roberts University?

1 point

- Does he/she sit on the board at Oral Roberts University?

5 points

- Does your pastor teach that anyone who speaks out against prosperity teachings has a poverty spirit?

7 points

- Does your pastor’s name remind you of money? (i.e. dollar, price, big money ma$e, etc)

7 points

Results Key

1-3 points—It is safe to say that you do not belong to a Prosperity Gospel ministry. Your pastor just may be a little ostentatious and/or have self-indulgent tendencies. We all have our moments….

4-6 points—Your church may not be a part of the Word of Faith movement, but your pastor may need to watch less TBN. Be careful. If not, within a year the church governance and financial boards might be comprised of the pastor, his wife, their son and the family dog.

7-10 points—Yes, your church is a part of the Word of Faith movement and your pastor is a prosperity preacher. Who am I to judge? It just might work for you right now. But please be sure to protect your social security number and don’t hand over your W-2’s.

10 + points—Ummm, you are on my prayer list. And whatever you do, DON’T DRINK THE KOOL AID!

I found this quite amusing, but I’ve got to add a couple of test questions:

- Are there more images of your pastor, and said pastors significant other, around your sanctuary than there are of Jesus, a cross or a dove?

5 points

- Can you not remember the last time you heard a sermon on such passages as “Blessed are the poor…,” “You cannot serve God and money…,” “the love of money is the root of all evil…,” “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…,” “Go and sell all that you have and give it to the poor…,” etcetera?

2 points

- Does this group of words describe your church building (audacious, stadium, concert venue, coffee shop, playground, conference center) better than this group of words (humble, sanctuary, house, chapel, refuge)?

3 points

Are there any more you can think of? If so, please feel free to add to the list!